The last that I had posted a Taihen In Malaysia project report was 5 Jun. 10 months later there is much to say. It was like carrying a an unborn child in the womb. A new experience for the carrier and the child. When the child sees the light of day - the joy and warmth, both the mother and child feels. (I'm imagining this, of course!)
Till now it is hard for me to believe that this 3 year project is finally over. But it is not really over, the child wants to grow and explore. This is what the performers want to do. Grow and explore. Good for them!
36 year old Vanee (just a few years younger than me) said in her slurred speech that she'd call us, the kurokos, to discuss the future. "We (the disabled performers) have to decide what we want to do about our future. My life is very boring. This is very exciting and I know that I can do this. I need your support."
We had a meeting the other day and we teased her that she should be the CEO while Maryani the General Manager. Together these tough cookies will be able to do so much.
Looking back there were times when we, The Actors Studio, Japan Foundation KL and Ms. Kim herself and Kawakita-san almost gave up. If it was not the fundings, it was the lack of interest by people who were involved closely with the physically disabled, or the search for "suitable kuroko" (as much as we'd like to take just anyone to assist, they had to be people with the right attitude and willing to understand what Taihen was all about.), or good old logistic of bringing people from Bangi, Spastic Centre and Beautiful Gate together; not forgetting the rolling and un-rolling the dance mats, etc.
It was rather disappointing that the Minister was not present to watch the progress that the performers have achieved in just 3 years. It's not just about the performance, it is an amazing process of finding the voice, the confidence, the self-esteem, most of all of being proud of their body and their unique movements.
It was certainly not about 'a physically disabled person' performing but a showcase of a form of art. Though some people had a 'sympathetic' tone to their applaud, some applauded because of the appreciation of the art. And this is what we wanted to acheive.
I look back fondly the moments when the performers and had first met, though I had many opportunities to get to know them better, sometimes I just didn't as I didn't want to get too close and be involved emotionally. [I find it difficult to work if I'm emotionally tied-down] Till now (as usual) I'm still the last one to hear a news but small moments that we shared together whenever possible were wonderful.
This is how silly I can get (cost me RM3.20 on toll!). I was supposed to pick Shahrul up from his home. This was my first time. Managed to find the place alright. Getting out is a bit problem as they have a toll plaza in that area. Drove out paid RM1.60 and asked the attendant there on how to get out. It didn't make any sense to me and I ended up paying another RM1.60. The next day just before leaving Shahrul's house I asked his mom how to get out. She said "Ask Shahrul, he knows." (Aiyo - drop water face; as Shahrul gave that cheeky smile) We both had a good laugh. (By the way, one will not be able to understand, Shahrul's speech - but you'll understand him. Also he is a big time hero at his area, goes everywhere with his power wheelchair and everybody has a certain respect for him.)
Another 'kuroko' moment is when once a forthnight I go to Bangi and take Vanee and Khiong (plus some crazy kurokos) along to rehearse the 'Bawang Merah Bawang Putih' (Red Onion, White Onion/Garlic; a malaysian folk story) scene. How we fumble in public trying to get Vanee on to her wheelchair and the silly songs we sing while being stuck in the evening jam while coming back home and listening to Vanee's stories.
Very facinating and one thing that Petra (Kuroko) and I can never forget is "It's ok if my sister's m-i-law won't change; I will change". Now you know why she'll have to be the CEO? She has a natural knack for management (unlike most who learn it, have a degree and yet are unable to grasp the concept.)
Of course there are tear-jerker moments as well. When Maryani (she is the leader of this group) was accounting her childhood experience. How teachers and fellow students would make fun of her. (Don't worry Maryani, it happens to a lot of people, with disability or not.) How she's always wanted to perform but had thought of her disability as an hinderance and to finally be up on stage. A lifelong dream come true.
(Sorry - I'm going to write a little bit about each performer.)
The most determined person in this group is Wan Tiara a 17 year old. The moment people see her, they are awed by her determination and yet she is such a sweet young lady. Always with a smile and on the last day just after the cast party - she broke down and cried so much. It was as if she had so much to say and yet the words were not coming out. I could only guess that she has probably never experienced whatever she was going through at that moment. It overwhelmed her and Tiara is another one who would probably be addicted to the stage and will come back for more.
In contrast to the young lady above we have Sabariah, whom I call 'The Government Servant' a.k.a. Pentas Kiri (Stage left) Primadonna. Nice, but she often has a look that she doesn't belong to the group probably because she is the only one who holds a senior position amongst the rest of the performers. (I'm guessing here - not mind reader. She probably has her own reasons.) I remember her for two things - 1) calling for Khiong and saying that he is so deaf; 2) when she was all covered up at Pentas Kiri (its dark and very cold) in blanket with her hands tucked in; she said that there is a mosquito on her nose. (rofl!) .
Since I mentioned Khiong; he a 22 year old who is hard of hearing (that is why Sabariah's comment was so funny!); is simply amazing. A hyperactive techqie who is able to understand Ms. Kim and what is needed of him in the show. Just don't praise him so much or he'll lose focus. It was amazing how this hyperactive guy was so composed, attentive and co-operative during performance. It was also amazing to see him adjust with the rest of the performers especially other male performers. The friendship Shahrul and he developed was very heartwarming.
Amy simply facinated people in his Badang (Malaysian folktale of a strong man) role. People's comment was "Oh my God - it was like he was flying on stage!". Yes he auditioned for that part and got the role. A very handsome young man, I'm sure the girls went goo-goo-ga-ga over him. I did.
Sha, I think was the bravest of them all. There was a scene where he came on stage wearing a 'sarong kebaya' like costume complete with a wig, very 70-ties and he looked gorgeous. He was playing a Pondan who was firting with the evil being (Ms. Kim). Bravo, Sha!
It was very unfortunate that Zahidah was unable to perform after all those hard work. She was rather ill. She made us all panic a little (a lot actually) when she arrived at KLPac on performance day. She was just sitting on her wheelchair, looking pale and she was not responding to us. I felt rather bad that she could not prove herself, she is always saying "I can do it, kakak."
I must go back to Spastic center to visit the kids there. I miss them. Well it won't be for long before we start work on rehearsing for a performance again.
For great pix of behind the scenes visit Maryani's blog at http://mariannie-missycat.blogspot.com/index.html
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